I'm here for you
by Brentinator
Summary: Takes place after Bionic rebellion. Chadam bonding fic. Trigger warnings include blood, depression, mentions of abuse and cutting. Rated high T. Dedicated to The Elite Bionic. Thanks for always being there for me.
Chase's POV.

I couldn't even describe what I was going through. I was mad because my best and only friend Sebastian had betrayed us, slightly happy because we defeated him and very, very upset because of what he did and what Perry said when we told them that Sebastian was rebelling.

"See, that's just it. Who would wanna be your friend?!"

Normally, Perry was just annoying, but now...the words felt like knives in my heart. No. It felt like what Douglas did to me when I was little. I was five years old when Mr. Davenport saved us, and even though he erased our memories of Douglas, as soon as we found out about him, they all came back. At least now I know what all the almost faded scars on my body were. Why when I was little, why my body would ache during training and Mr. Davenport would almost make me rest. It was simple. Douglas abused me. Even though he got nicer to me, I still very occasionally felt the pain of him cutting me open, or hitting me with his belt, or slapping me in the face, or so on and so forth. I couldn't deal with what I was going through. I went into the bathroom and found a razor.

"Don't do it Chase. Do not do it." A voice in my head told me, but I shut it out and dragged the razor across my arm, letting the blood drip on the floor. I cut my other wrist and after awhile, it didn't even hurt and it felt like it took away the mental pain I was going through. After I was done, I cleaned up, wrapped up my wrists and put on my mentor jacket. I went to see my class waiting eagerly. If only Sebastian was among them. I remember when I have given him detention and his response was.

"Good! I don't even know what that is."

Even though I was really mad at the time, that had now been permanently implanted in my brain. As I started doing the lesson, my mind kept going to Sebastian. I don't know why. He had made it perfectly clear that he was using me. Suddenly I saw someone raise their hand.

"Yes Donald the third?" I asked.

"The thing we just did, that's wrong." He explained.

"I am the smartest person on the planet. I am never wrong." I told the obviously confused student.

I looked at his paper and I realized that I was indeed wrong. Great! My thoughts about Sebastian were definitely getting to me.

"I'll be back. And don't do that paper." I said as I went to go find Mr. Davenport and I guess beg him for a week off.

When I finally found him, he was teaching target practice. Well, more like being a victim of target practice.

"Ok, everyone just take five. Go. Come on. You take ten." Mr. Davenport said to the students as he came over to me.

"Hey Chase."

"Mr. Davenport?" I asked.

"What is it Chase?" He asked.

"Um. After everything that happened with Sebastian...I was wondering if I can take a week off. Just to think some things over and take a break." I explained.

"Are you ok?" Mr. Davenport asked.

"Not really." I admitted.

"Come with me." Mr. Davenport said.

I gulped and followed my "father" to his bedroom and sat down on his bed.

"Is something wrong Chase?" Mr. Davenport asked as he closed the door and sat beside me.

"Yeah. My only friend turned out to be evil." I replied with slight bitterness in my voice.

"I meant anything else. For example, it's almost summer and we live on a island. Why are you wearing a jacket?" Mr. Davenport asked.

"Because I'm cold." I lied. I was really sweating like a pig.

"Also, you have seemed almost secretive. Is this about the abuse again?" Mr. Davenport asked as he laid a hand on my shoulder.

I know why he thought that. Recently, right before we came to the island, I had a anxiety attack over a flashback I had where Douglas was abusing me and I ended up going to the hospital. But it really wasn't. It was all Sebastian and Perry. And the fact I had started cutting.

"No." I replied with a sigh.

"Ok. You can go back to Mission Creek for awhile to relax. But I will make sure Eddy and Tasha are keeping good eyes on you. Do you understand?" Mr. Davenport asked.

I nodded.

"Good. Go pack. I'll let everyone know." Mr. Davenport said as he opened the door and I walked out.

After I packed, I was about to leave when I saw no one in the room. I went into the bathroom and grabbed the razor. I cut my wrists, bandaged them up and put my jacket back on. Then I grabbed my suitcase and got on the hydra loop.

Two days later.

Still Chase's POV.

Mission Creek was still the same as when I left. Same with the house and Tasha. Tasha had temporarily deactivated Eddy except for at night or when she left the house, which, I didn't blame her. However, maybe she should've left him on. She didn't activate him when she left because I was bionic, but now, my cutting problem had gotten even worse. I had passed out from the blood loss yesterday for a few minutes and I was always dizzy. I had lied and told Tasha that I thought I was sick, so now she was treating me that way, but I didn't mind. I just wish she knew. Tasha was out buying groceries and I was about to go upstairs to...you know, when I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door and saw Adam.

"Hi Adam." I smiled as he walked in.

"Hi Chase." He smiled as he sat down on the couch.

I sat down beside him and we started watching a movie. Half a hour in and I had a major urge to go and cut. What was wrong with me? Oh yeah, addiction. I can't stop and I'm scared. I tell myself to watch the movie, but it's like I'm being controlled by the Triton app or something.

"Adam, I'm going to the bathroom." I said, like a robot almost.

"Ok." Adam said, mesmerized in the movie.

I started walking upstairs and into the bathroom. Then I grabbed the razor. I didn't wanna cut anymore, but it was like I had absolutely no control over myself. I ran the razor down my wrist and dark red blood started heavily pouring out of the cut. I must've cut too deep. I wanted to stop, but instead, I did the same to the other wrist. I suddenly fell on the floor and dropped the razor. My vision started going dark.

"ADAM!" I yelled and it sounded like I was being murdered.

I heard Adam running up the stairs and he burst in the door. He must've saw the blood and the razor.

"Holy bionics! Chase!" Adam yelled as he knelt down to me.

"Adam." I weakly said.

"Shh. It's ok. You'll be ok." Adam whispered as he clutched my hand.

My vision went fully dark after that.

-Time skip-

Adam's POV.

I was just watching mine and Chase's favorite movie when I hear him yell my name very loudly. I expected something completely different them what I saw. When you see your baby brother on the floor, minutes away from passing out, covered in blood with a RAZOR near him, you have to stay strong for him, but you really just wanna break down and cry. I called 911 and then Tasha. The paramedics burst in the door and put him on a stretcher, with a bunch of equipment on his body. I told the female paramedic what happened. She thanked me and they left the house in the ambulance. Tasha came home a few minutes later and we went to the hospital. She called Mr. Davenport and explained everything. We got there and sat in the waiting room. After a few hours, the doctor finally came out.

"How is he?" Tasha asked.

"Well Mrs. Davenport. He lost a lot of blood. We need to keep him overnight and most of tomorrow to make sure he is alright. You can go see him, but we currently have him sedated and he will not be waking up tonight. I will send a nurse to let you know when it is time to leave." The doctor explained.

"Thank you." Tasha said as we went to Chase's room.

I immediately ran to Chase's side and held his hand.

"I am so sorry Chasey. So so sorry. You don't know how sorry I am. I will help you get over this. I promise." I said, tears starting to leak out of my eyes and onto the bed.

Then a young lady came in and told us we had to leave. I kissed Chase's forehead and Tasha and I went home.

A few days later.

Chase had waken up and we had brought him home. I hid all the razors and knives from Chase, so he couldn't find them and have a relapse. I never wanted to go through that again. We were currently on the couch, chilling out and watching a episode of Pokèmon when I suddenly felt Chase grip onto my shirt. I looked over and realized that he was asleep and having a bad dream.

"Chase! Chase wake up!" I yelled as I started shaking him.

His eyes opened and he started sobbing into my shirt.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare about cutting?" I asked as I rubbed his back.

He shook his head no and continued crying.

"What did you have a nightmare about then?" I asked.

"Noth...nothing." Chase said, still crying.

"You are lying. What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't feel comf...comfortable tal...talking about it with any...anyone bes...besides Mr. D...Davenport." Chase explained.

"Ok buddy. I'm gonna go get a shower. I'll be right back. And I am turning on Eddy so you don't get any ideas." I explained as I went upstairs.

Chase's POV.

As soon as Adam went upstairs and Eddy was activated, I tried to focus on Pokemon, but my mind kept drifting off to Sebastian. Why was this eating at me? He may have been my friend at one point, but now he was my enemy. I tried to shake it off when I saw a pair of Tasha's scissors laying out. It was like when I ended up going to the hospital. I had no control. I got up, grabbed the scissors and sliced my wrist. It hurt a bit, then I sliced the other one. I couldn't stop. I kept slicing them over and over. Then Adam came in the room, and he yelled my name. I dropped the scissors and turned around. He took me to the bathroom and he grabbed a washcloth to start cleaning the blood.

"Why are you doing this Chase?" Adam asked with tears in his eyes.

"I...I don't know." I lied.

"I know that is not true. What is going on? Tell me. I am your older brother and I am here for you." Adam said as he finished cleaning the blood and started wrapping my wrists with bandages.

"The reason I started cutting is because...of Sebastian's rebellion. And what Perry said to me." I admitted as he finished up with my wrists.

"Chase. The rebellion was not your fault. You didn't know that Sebastian was evil. And Perry is a jerk. Don't listen to her." Adam explained as we walked out of the bathroom and downstairs into the couch.

"I know it wasn't my fault. It's just because I feel betrayed. Like I'm worthless." I admitted.

"Chase William Davenport, you are not worthless. And Sebastian betrayed all of us." Adam explained.

"Sure he did." I said sarcastically.

"It's just affecting you the most because he was your friend. What are the nightmares about?" Adam asked.

"Before Mr. Davenport took us from Douglas...he trained us to do bad things. And my super intelligence would get the better of me, witch lead to abuse." I admitted as I started crying.

"Shh. Shh. It's alright. Let it all out." Adam soothed as he rubbed circles on my back.

"When I had that anxiety attack right before we left for the island, it was because I started having flashbacks involving the abuse. Mr. Davenport had someone teach me simple exercises which helps me from having big ones like that anymore. But still..." I trailed off while still crying, which after that, it turned into sobbing.

"Chase. We are all gonna help you get through this. I promise." Adam said as he rubbed my back and hugged me tightly.

"Adam?" I asked as I started to calm down.

"Yes Chasey?" Adam asked.

"I'm glad you are my older brother. I couldn't ask for a better one." I admitted as I snuggled into my older brother.

Three weeks later.

We ended up getting a mental health counselor for Chase to help him get over his self harm addiction and the abuse. However, he was still able to be at the academy, train the kids and go on missions (very, VERY occasionally). At first, he didn't like his counselor, but now he is doing much better. He is able to pick up a knife without almost cutting and yesterday, he almost relapsed, but threw away the razor instead. He and I also had plenty off time together, and I was gonna help him through this. No matter what.

The end.

 **This story is definitely my darkest one.**

 **This is a thank you present to a very special person to me who is leaving soon.**

 **The Elite Bionic, you are a inspiration, a friend, and my internet older brother (I don't care if you want that title, you have it now.)**

 **You have always been there for me and have never given up on me. Whenever I needed to talk, you replied ASAP. So thanks for everything you have done for me and never change. I will miss you whenever you leave.**

 **Over and out.**

 **Susz.**


End file.
